Learning to Forgive Yourself in Recovery

Permitting Yourself to Love Yourself

The divergence among people stems from where that forgiveness must come from.

Religious groups often claim that forgiveness must come from a divine being. However, studies show that actively forgiving yourself releases endorphins and affects the body’s overall health and function.

No one can take away a person’s choice to forgive, and no one can say self-forgiveness isn’t enough.

The Importance of Forgiving Yourself

If a person can’t forgive themselves, the weight of all their mistakes is enough to break anyone over a lifetime. We all make mistakes.

The key is not to shame yourself for mistakes. Instead, learn from the past and use that knowledge in the present and future.

Successful and healthy people don’t have a habit of destroying themselves whenever they make a mistake. Instead, they learn to work through the situation while continuing to move forward.

Breaking Bad Habits

Breaking bad habits like negative self-talk will improve a person’s positivity and mental state.

• Don’t beat yourself up or call yourself names.
• Realize that everyone makes mistakes.
• Find the root of your emotional pain.
• Make a personal strategy to avoid unwanted behaviors.

The critical component is to move forward. Staying in the past will not make anything better.

Remaining stuck in past experiences will create feelings of insecurity and low self-worth. Furthermore, negative mental states are corrosive to personal growth and enlightenment.

Chronic negativity invites relapse and other self-destructive behaviors that, in turn, create more guilt and shame. The cycle must stop.

Steps to Forgive Yourself

1. Write it out

Writing is a fantastic therapeutic tool. The 12-steps specify that the patient must write down resentments because thoughts swimming in our heads can spin out of control.

Putting thoughts on paper gives your mind a rest and lets you let go of whatever is bothering you. Writing ideas down helps avoid forgetting them. Jot it down.

Write down why you are upset, your feelings, and anything else that comes to mind. Writing is expressive and provides much-needed relief.

Once you have written everything down, you will find that your mind is far more peaceful and clear than before.

2. Remember, you can’t change the past, but you can take control of your present and future.

The past is gone. It’s that simple. You can learn from the past, but you cannot change it. The good news is that the present and future are unwritten stories you control.

You can do anything you want if you work for it. Who will you be in 5 years? Challenge yourself to see the innumerable possibilities.

3. Have compassion and love for your past self.

Nobody is perfect. You have made mistakes, but you’re only human and cannot expect yourself to live a life free from errors and missteps.

The only thing to do now is to have compassion for yourself, as you would have for a dear friend who has made mistakes.

4. Recognize morals and values now and act on them.

Perhaps you’ve violated your morals and values in the past. But, again, no one is perfect. What matters is that you now recognize those moral values and adhere to them to the best of your ability.

So, from now on, forgive yourself for your past mistakes and transgressions.

5. Remember every day is a new start.

Every day is a new beginning, and it’s never too late to change or start over. Staying in the past is a conscious choice; choose better for yourself.

Realize today that you can be the best version of yourself.

6. Learn to love the person you have become.

You wouldn’t be the person you are without everything that has happened up until now. As difficult as the past has been, it has made you who you are today, which is excellent!

Moving Forward

In conclusion, we invite you to be kinder to yourself. As humans, we all make mistakes. But, regardless of what happened, you are not the first person this has happened to, and you are not alone.

In time, life will ebb and flow far enough along that this chapter of heartache will be a distant memory. But unfortunately, it is not time that heals wounds, but our heightened perspective teaches us why we are in pain.

Choose to spend this time wisely by learning from your experiences to become wiser and more enlightened. Additionally, choose to avoid feelings of guilt or shame in the future.

Like the doctor said, “forgiveness is a choice.”

Sources

[1] Forgiveness: Your Health Depends on It | Johns Hopkins Medicine
[2] Self-Esteem and Communication Skills – A Better Today (abtrs.com)
[3] Self-Care and Its Importance in Recovery – A Better Today Recovery Services (abtrs.com)
[4] Stress, Isolation and Addiction-The Connection (abtrs.com)
[5] Forgiving Yourself | Psychology Today

Related Educational Content and Guides

[1] Breaking the Cycle of Addiction – A Better Today Recovery Services (abtrs.com)

[2] How to Reach Out for Help with Addiction – A Better Today Recovery Services (abtrs.com)

[3] This Grieving Family of an Addict Has a Message – A Better Today Recovery Services (abtrs.com)