Speak Early and Allow Questions to be Asked

It is better to start speaking to your children about addiction early. Begin as early as pre-school. It should be a continuous conversation incorporated into everyday activities at different developmental stages.

 Children are exposed to dangers at a very early age through medicine and sometimes addicted caregivers. They must be aware of telltale signs.

While having conversations about addiction, children will have innocent but difficult questions. Allow them to ask and be curious. Be prepared to answer them with all honesty. Share any family history around addiction if there is any. Do not keep secrets.

Questions from your child will give you cues on how much they can handle. It will also help you see how they process this information. In the case of an addicted parent, the questions will help you see how they feel about your addiction and possibly how it has affected them.

• To help a child understand and cope with the addiction of a parent or a loved one, make them see it is not their fault using the ‘Seven C’s’ principle:
• I didn’t cause
• I can’t cure
• I can’t control
• I can help take care of myself by:
• Communicating my feelings, making healthy choices, and celebrating me

Have Age-Appropriate Conversations

Give information that children can process. How children understand addiction has to do with their present age and development stage. Again, at different stages, children are exposed to different threats. They also have different behavior patterns. Here is an example of how to communicate for each age

• 3 to 5 years: Talk about the benefits of healthy living and the problem of making unhealthy choices. Reminding them to stay healthy will help them remain energetic to play with friends. 
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• Teach them about the dangers of harmful substances such as adult medications or detergents. Use simple examples such as vitamins to demonstrate that medicine is good but can only be taken with care and the help of a caregiver.
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• 5 to 8 years: They will be coming into contact with more children from different backgrounds and new influences. Talk about their friends and allow them to bring concerns and questions to you. You can be more direct about the dangers of drugs such as alcohol and cigarettes. When alcohol and drug scenes come up in movies, talk about the scenes.
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• 9 years and above (preteen): At this age, children want more independence. Create rules about drugs. Talk about peer pressure. Your efforts should be directed towards building their self-confidence and self-esteem. Help them a separate reality from fantasy. Give them facts about substance use and remain available and approachable for questions and fears.
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• Teens- 13 to 18 years: Mature conversation needs to come into play. Enhance their power to walk away from situations and make decisions. Your conversations should bring a lot of validation. Tell your child what is wonderful about them. Get interested in their everyday struggles.
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•  Go all out on drug education; types of substances and their effects. Talk about mental health, the realities, and how to enhance personal mental wellness. Encourage physical activity such as volunteering and sports and how they help in overcoming substance abuse. Take a stand against drugs.
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• Young adults (19-25 years): They have observed you for a while, so they will follow your actions. Talk about mental health and advise them to stay vulnerable. As they move out, talk about coping on their own; freedom, and challenges if things do not work out. 
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• Most importantly, emphasize how to take care of their mental health. Talk about taking alcohol for luxury and how to draw the boundary. Be open about your negative experiences with alcohol and other drugs.